Thoughts lately feature enigmatic insults...
1) I recently became frustrated with a student and told them to "go buy a donkey." I don't know what it meant, they didn't know what it meant, but somehow it felt like I won.
2) When I get new books in series I hold them back for the kids that I know are reading the series at the moment, in order for them to escape the clutchy hands of what I call "Shiny-Grabbers." These are patrons that have no intention of reading the book, but like the reflection of light off the shiny new dust jackets. I liken them to Gollum.
3) I spontaneously called someone a "Seashell-Picker" the other day. I don't know why I believe this has negative connotations, but it definitely feels like futility and kind of alludes to boogers.